2020 for most people wasn't a great year! To top off the Covid-19 pandemic hitting Australia, Doug losing his job due to lockdowns and restrictions within the fitness industry.... we got the news that the tumour was back on the move. We always knew that given the tumour was a type 2 atypical meningioma there was a possibility that further surgery would be required...but this happened sooner that we thought. I had just turned 30 and had my whole life ahead of me....
The tumour cells had invaded the superior sagittal sinus (SSS) and blocked the vessel. My body had naturally found other little vessels for the blood to flow through. My surgeon from 2009 recommended that we go back in to retract as much as possible. This would involve removing the tumour and cutting the SSS. There were many risks with this surgery - including death, stroke or impaired movement given the location of the tumour.
I decided to get a second opinion as this surgery was going to be riskier that the first....my life was on the line and I had more to lose now, I had my own family and more memories to make. I was referred to the loveliest surgeon, he made me feel calm and explained everything in detail. As soon as my mum and I left the consult with him we both knew that he was the one to do the surgery! He talked me through similar surgeries he had done and reassured me as much as possible that he would do everything he could to get me through this.
The craniotomy was booked for 3 June 2021. In the lead up to the surgery I was determined to get my fitness up so I had the best chance of recovery. I did an F45 challenge from March - May 2021 and ended up coming 4th. This kept me focused and ensured I was in the right mindset to undergo the procedure. I knew I had to be strong not only for me but my family,
Before the surgery I sat my little girl down, she was 3, and told her everything I said that "mummy was going to be in hospital for a little while as she has something in her head that the doctor needs to remove" and "daddy will look after her and I will be home really soon, I may come home with no hair but it will still be the same mummy". She was so resilient and said she would be brave. Our saying became "be brave you have got this!".
Because of the COVID-19 pandemic there were restrictions put in place for my surgery. On the day of the surgery no one could come into the hospital with me, I had to be dropped at the door and enter the waiting room alone. I remember sitting there feeling like I was just checking into a hotel - not brain surgery! It was so hard to say goodbye at the door and even harder to think that it could be the last time I see my little girl and my family!
The procedure took approximately 7 hours. My neurosurgeon had managed to remove the whole tumour including the SSS section it was attached to. I woke up in recovery and was transferred to ICU. My mum, stepdad and husband were then able to visit me. The first night in ICU was a blur, I remember feeling really tired and waking up to frequent observations and bells ringing. The next day I woke up and felt so relieved everything seemed to be functioning like normal I was also able to get up and about with the physio. I was transferred to my own room up on the ward. Once I was in my own room I was allowed 2 visitors every 24 hours. Having so much time on my own to rest and recover it really hit me I had just been through hell and back, I was very emotional but at the same time happy to be alive. Seeing my daughter for the first time after surgery was the best feeling. My daughter came in and brought me an owl toy and called it "Owie" and explained that he was called Owie because I had an owie on my head. She wasn't scared seeing me with a bandage on my head, she cuddled me and kissed me and that was all that mattered.
As the days went on I struggled to talk and have the energy to pull a sentence together. I was really worried that I wasn't going to be the same as before. Anyone that knows me knows that I am a very independent, determined and organised person. I also work in HR, so talking to people day in and day out is what I love to do. When I was struggling to talk or do anything physical I got extremely upset, I truly believed that this would be permanent. It kept comparing my recovery to my previous craniotomy which was not a good thing as it made me overthink and worry.
7 days post op I was discharged from hospital and able to come home. I still struggled to talk and have the energy to do anything but recovering at home was the best thing for me. I know that my family noticed the changes in me but they didn't want to say anything as they didn't want to worry me. My mum later said to me it was like "the lights were on and no one was home". This is exactly how I felt - I remember the first day I was home, my mum came to my house to help with the washing and to check in on me. I struggled to even explain where the clean clothes had to go. I was feeling really defeated and didn't know what was ahead for me.
About 2-3 days into my recovery at home - it suddenly clicked and I could talk again and could think clearly! I was so relieved, I called my mum and she couldn't believe the difference after seeing me the day before. I was determined to keep progressing and getting back to feeling like myself!
During the first few weeks of my recovery I did have a little scare at home, one night I was sitting with my husband and daughter and I remember this numbing sensation and tingling going down my right arm, then it progressed to the right side of my face. It was numb for only a minute or so but it felt like forever, I kept thinking I was having a stroke. My husband calmed me down and told me to write it down and speak to my doctor. It happened again a few days later and I called my neurosurgeon, he increased my anticonvulsant tablets from 500mg to 750mg morning and night to see if this helped. Once I increased the tablets I never had that feeling come back again.
Recovery went well initially and then another hurdle came my way.......to be continued......